I'm standing in the rain as the evening traffic swims and glows and warps it's way past me. I stare at the grey canvas shoes I wear, bubbling and overflowing with freezing torrents of water, my thin brown trousers soaking to my thin white legs and my hair conducting rivulets of liquid into my eyes and turning the night into a yellow/white neon blur. My arm has long since dropped to my side in resignation and fatigue.
Fuck them. Fuck them all, every last dead eyed whore one of them. Would you give an innocent man a half hour journey to a place he could be warm and dry for the night? Of course you would. Would you give a man who looks like I do any more than a disdainful half glance? Of course not.......Yet I'm leaving. The very act of being here tells it's own story. An only child who lost his way in the big bad universe and clung like vomit to the fraying edges as a last gesture of defiance and obscenity to the piety of man. I am everything you despise. I have been everything you despise. I will be everything you despise. Deal with it.
My hatred doubles as love, it allows me the comfort of a dozen dead bodies city-wide, waiting on the garbage boys or the hobo's or the the restless eye of the average Joe Q Citizen, or maybe if one is lucky, the attentions of New Yorks finest. The honour would be all mine.......
An object pulls out of the gloaming fuzz and presents itself before me. The window slides down soundlessly and a mouth utters.........
"Youwannaliftbuddy?"
"Yes"
"Hop aboard mister, you look like i feel"
I decide there and then not to make him suffer. He's an asshole, sure, but he stopped for me. I feel I owe him something........
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