So this is what it's like to be trapped....
You spend half your life thinking the walls are closing in, only to find you were free as a bird all along. Fuck!
Tidy up before you go.........
Leave it as you found it..............
The final duties of a less than humble servant. Watch him go, watch his world vanish at his tail. Nobody likes loose ends..............
The shadows come and go, they ask the usual questions, though I don't know if I'm asleep or awake. Sometimes the shadows just stand over me and say nothing. I know they can't touch me just yet, so I turn away and re-focus, go for a swim amongst the mental fragments of my life. Childhood resurfaces sometimes, prosaic as it gets, like re-watching videotape. Mostly though, the distortion is intense, faces warp, personalities and characteristics exaggerate, places and situations merge. The random logic of dreams, but my dreams were never this real..........................
Whatever they're giving me, it's good fucking stuff, that's one thing I'm sure of. I feel sorry for the heart attacks and the strokes and the aneurysms. The sudden deaths. They didn't get this narcotic land of nod, this psychic adventure playground. Everyone deserves this reverie at least once in their lives.............
I have no idea what's waiting for me, nor do I fear what awaits. I feel like I'll never know when it actually happens. I feel like I'll just keep dreaming, a stray, wandering thought, like the last words of Mark Twain's Mysterious Stranger............
There are worse fates. There are greater trials.
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